My fat-to-fit journey after 50

As I turned 50 this year, I embarked on a fat-to-fit journey. With 86 kilos, I was obese for my height and age. A combination of diet and exercise got me healthier.

First, I set an eating window between 9:30 am and 7 pm. I drank only water from 7 pm to 9:30 am the next day. A glass of milk is my go-to if I’m hungry. I ate like I always do during my eating window. Eating until you’re 80% full is a good rule of thumb. My breakfast was usually idli or dosa or pongal, or oats. Lunch was rice or chapatis, while dinner was usually bread and omelets. Along with avoiding aerated drinks, I also replaced sweets with natural sources like dates to reduce my sugar intake. While I tried to curb my snacking, I occasionally indulged in treats like murukkus. On Fridays, I skip lunch and eat early dinner around 5:30-6 pm.

Getting fit started with 30 minutes of jumping jacks and skipping at home. After a while, I switched to walking and then jogging for six kilometers. Eventually, I jogged three times a week at an average pace of around nine minutes per kilometer for a total of six kilometers. Whenever I wasn’t jogging, I did at-home workouts.

Thankfully, these efforts paid off. I dropped from 86 kilos to 77.4 kilos. I used to wear jeans with a 36-inch waist, but now I fit into a size 32.

As a result, my fitness routine has become an essential part of my day. Even when I’m traveling, I pack my sneakers and hit the gym, run, or at least walk. I’m hoping to keep that streak going.

December 27, 2023

Chasing Borrowed Goals

Most of our goals are borrowed goals, which explains why we don’t achieve them. We covet what others possess and desire it for ourselves: a fit body with chiseled abs like our favorite actor, a luxurious BMW like our colleague’s, or a spacious three-bedroom house like our boss’s. Our purchases – from clothes to amenities – are driven not by necessity but by a desire to emulate others.

It’s in our nature to mimic. When we’re little, we imitate our parents and siblings, and when we’re in school, we mirror the popular kid. Nature and nurture have conditioned us to mimic others’ behaviors and desires.

There are three problems with these borrowed goals:
• they hook us onto a hedonic treadmill
• they don’t motivate us into action
• they leave us disappointed

These borrowed goals get us hooked on a hedonic treadmill – an endless cycle of chasing satisfaction that never materializes. When I began working, I commuted by public bus and longed for a bike to bring me happiness. Once I acquired one, the joy lasted only six months before I yearned for a car to escape the rain and heat. After obtaining my car, I soon coveted bigger and better vehicles like my colleagues’. It’s the same in other areas.

We go from renting to buying homes, always looking for more space as we compare ourselves to others. Then, when we finally move into our spacious apartment, our coworkers move into villas, and we dream about buying one. Although we achieve our earlier wishes, our dreams and desires evolve and we are always on a treadmill, running but never arriving at what we want.

Secondly, these borrowed ambitions don’t inspire action. Instagram pictures of our friend’s trip might inspire us to visit Thailand, Prague, or the Arctic Circle, but once we realize the overheads of planning, saving, and traveling, we give up. We want to arrive without taking a step.

We all want a fit body. However, we’re reluctant to exercise and eat healthy. As we delay or drop doing those things, we invent excuses.

Because these borrowed goals aren’t tailored to our contexts, they don’t motivate us. We just fantasize about them without doing anything. We don’t achieve these goals because they aren’t ours; they belong to someone else.

As a result, these borrowed goals lead to disappointment and perpetual discontent. Either we don’t achieve them or we keep upgrading our ambitions without ever feeling satisfied. Our lives become marred by disappointment when we keep borrowing goals that weren’t meant for us.

We often get stuck in a cycle of setting loftier goals, then falling short and giving up. We’re stuck in this unending cycle of dissatisfaction, which keeps us from moving forward. Our sense of failure paralyzes us, making it hard for us to move forward and reach new milestones.

December 26, 2023

Living a fulfilled life

how to live a fulfilled life

The key to a great life is to love yourself, love others, and love transcendence.

If you don’t love yourself, you’ll never do anything worthwhile since you’ll always think you’re worth nothing.

If you don’t love and respect others, you won’t partner with them. It’s impossible to do everything on your own. In this journey, you need others.

You’ll have a purpose in life if you have a sense of transcendence. It’ll keep you going when it’s cold and hard.

You’ll be unstoppable if you combine all three. The journey will be fun too.

December 25, 2023

Why sibling relations matter and what you can do to improve it

Our parents don’t stay with us throughout our lives, our romantic partners and friends come and go, but our siblings are always there. Because of that long-term connection, siblings play an important role in our personal growth and well-being. People with close sibling relationships have better mental health, better psychological health, and better social relationships.

I didn’t really get along with my younger sister until I was a teenager. I was mean to her. At home, I wanted to be the boss at home. My love for her grew as I saw the world and grew up.

Now the roles are reversed. She doesn’t have to show who the boss is at home. We know she is the only man in the house. She has been involved in every major decision in my life. I have never made a decision without consulting her. Sorry. Let me rephrase that. There have been no major turning points in my life without her involvement.

She picked up the flat I had to purchase, negotiated the final price, and arranged the loan. I signed all the papers and bragged about my new apartment. In the same way, she looked for the perfect match for me, arranged everything, and I went there only to exchange rings. She hosted my first son and my wife for six months before they moved to live with me. She has become such a friend with my wife that she joyfully joins my wife to tease me.

Here are some points that have strengthened our bonds well past our childhood.

Early family routines

As children, we had family prayer and dinner almost every day. Daily routines didn’t develop love between us, but they bonded us as a family. As a family, we traveled at least twice a year. Those were the times when we often helped each other out, understanding each other’s likes and dislikes.

Continual family rituals

Even after leaving home and starting our own families, we still met at least once a year to spend time together. Our kids play Roblox together. We tease each other and share silly insider jokes regularly on WhatsApp.

Love covers many flaws

When there was a small family altercation early in their marriage, my brother-in-law made a comment in Tamil – குற்றம் பார்க்கில் சுற்றம் இல்லை, which can be loosely translated as “love covers many flaws”. I never forgot that. This has become the unwritten rule binding our families together. Look over flaws for family.

Let adults be adults

At family reunions and on family Whatsapp groups, we act silly and childish. Other times, however, no one tries to control others. Let adults be adults. In a family, giving each other space is crucial. Unnecessary pressure fractures the family-bond.

Remember life is not one big thing. It is the sum of many small things.

December 24, 2023

Three stages of Indian software industry

Indian Software industry has evolved through three distinct phases:

• Cost arbitrage
• Internet arbitrage
• Talent arbitrage

In the first wave, Indian companies sold cheap extra hands to US companies looking to fix Y2K bugs. It was crazy how fast computer coaching centers popped up everywhere. You had a job if you held an Aptech certificate, a flight ticket to the US if you could type faster than your colleagues, and an upgraded seat if you wore a tie and pronounced the letter “r” rolling your tongue.

As a result of rich dollars and the possibility of even more dollars, businessmen invested heavily in Internet infrastructure and demanded even more from the government. Every global company started offshore development center in India. If you wrote a hello world program in Java, you got a job as a developer; if you knew how to debug someone’s hello world program you became a senior developer. Products were designed elsewhere, we developed and delivered from here.

In the last two and half decades, Indians have developed, marketed, and sold every conceivable idea for others. The talent mafia in India is astonishing. Whether it is coding, UX, or marketing, there is no better talent than Indians. There are more unicorn startups in India than anywhere else.

Companies are still playing the cost arbitrage game. While they scramble for pennies, those engaged in talent arbitrage make mega profits.

Why is this important? If you are looking for a job or you are thinking of switching job it is important to find out if the company is playing the game of cost arbitrage or talent arbitrage.

December 23, 2023