Don’t solve loneliness with AI

Loneliness is the biggest problem facing the next generation, and technology won’t fix it. Or shouldn’t try to fix it.

While tech isn’t the solution, entrepreneurs will build a solution anyway. They’ll make addictive products, like social media, and become billionaires. Instead of solving the problem, these solutions will only amplify it.

Let’s take a look back at history. The Nokia phones launched with the tagline “connecting the world.” It was easy to talk to people anytime, anywhere. It was awesome. We found our classmates and collegemates on Facebook, reconnected, and shared our lives. Yet the same tech products amplified loneliness. These tech products helped us communicate with people thousands of kilometers away; but they also made us lose the ability to understand people right next to us.

Likewise, tech products will play a significant role in addressing loneliness, but we should be careful about which solutions we build. While tech billionaires want to build addictive solutions and keep users within their walled gardens, technology will only solve part of the loneliness issue. The problem can’t be solved completely by it.

We should use technology to build memories in the physical world with people we care about – this is how we can fight loneliness. Here’s an example from my own life: I’ve connected with two people named Krishna Kumar (KK) and Sathyanand in the last few years. We met online and got to know each other via Zoom, WhatsApp, and LinkedIn. Eventually, we met in person and formed deeper connections. Our virtual interactions paved the way for meaningful relationships. I met Sathya in Gudalur with my family in a holiday home. We walked through the fields and played in the nearby river, creating lasting memories. In the same way, KK visited us in Panchkula. Together, we hiked a trail near a dam. Once again, we bonded over shared experiences and overcoming challenges, which fostered accomplishment, happiness, and connection.

Although technology will be part of the loneliness solution, it’s not the ultimate solution. If we rely solely on technology, we will make it worse. Our goal should be to use it to build lasting relationships and make memories with the people we love.

(Tweet from Shaan Puri)

December 22, 2023

Showing up daily – Seven insights from coding, writing, and jogging challenges

Over the years, I’ve engaged in many challenges to keep myself motivated, creative, and sharp. I have done:

• Coding for a year.
• Publishing articles daily on LinkedIn.
• Jogging for 100 days.
• Creating visuals for 30 days.

I’ve learned seven things from these experiences.

• Remove decision frictions.
• Invest in tools that help you achieve your goals.
• Momentum builds after the initial starting troubles.
• Timebox your work.
• Celebrate milestones.
• It spills into other areas of life
• Festina lente (make haste slowly)

The first thing is to remove decision frictions as much as you can. Automating many decisions lets you focus on what’s important and removes all the unnecessary decisions. When I did a 30-day visual challenge, I only used one font and two colors; while jogging, I ran the same route every day. Less decisions means, the more likely I was to finish the task.

Second, invest in tools that will help you succeed. Due to unreliable internet access in my area, I use Sketch instead of Figma or Canva. As I started keeping a daily log, I used an audio pen for transcription, Wordtune for editing drafts, and WordPress for blogging. You can keep momentum going if you have the right tools.

Speaking of momentum, it builds once you get over the initial hurdles. The first few days are hard and filled with doubt, but as time goes on, it gets easier. Even though the pain or uncertainty doesn’t disappear entirely, the process becomes more manageable with time.

Time boxing is key to maintaining momentum. With numerous responsibilities as a CTO and homeschooling my kids, time boxing helps me balance my workload. As an example, I run for an hour, limit my first draft to 300-500 words, and edit and publish within 20-30 minutes.

Celebrate your milestones if you want to keep going. My family and I eat out or buy something from my “wanting” list. Make your brain feel good about all the pain.

Office, hobbies, and personal aren’t isolated. Our actions in one area echo in others. I use all these lessons in my CTO job, podcasting, and homeschooling. Whenever I review a technical document, I timebox, I eliminate frivilous podcasting decisions, and I’m okay with paying for tools that help my boys.

I learned this concept from an Italian cathedral: “Festina Lente” in Latin means “hasten slowly,” and that applies to anything that impacts you, your family, society, and colleagues. The only way to speed up is to build a support system methodically and thoughtfully. You’ve got to shape your process, pick up your tools carefully, and know what you want. Once you’ve laid the foundation, you can go faster than others who haven’t.

I’ve honed my skills and sharpened my observations by taking on different daily challenges. This won’t be the end. In the coming years, I’ll take on even more challenges. Take up these kinds of daily or weekly challenges if you want to get skills for life and career.

December 21, 2023

Talent Development with One-Page Profiles

An idea from a book can transform your life, either by giving you a new perspective on an old idea or by giving you a brand new perspective on something brand new. One such idea is worth the time and money invested in a book.

One of the ideas that shaped my approach to talent development came from Jack Welch’s Straight from the Gut book nearly two decades ago. This idea has helped me develop my team members.

Welch suggests managers create one-page profiles for each member of their team. The top of the page should have the person’s name, a photo, and a grid assessing their potential and performance. Performance measures a person’s contribution to a project, while potential measures their competency. It’s critical to look at both. If someone lacks potential, they should be improved or fired. If an employee has potential but is underperforming, they may require coaching and training.

Below the grid, list the individual’s strengths and weaknesses. You can add accomplishments, teamwork skills, and other relevant factors in free-form text. Update this one-page plan every year to track progress.

Managers must evaluate where each team member falls on this grid and give them feedback and training plans.

I’ve been using this method for my team members since I read the book. I’m forced to evaluate everyone’s abilities and performance. The method helps identify the root cause of someone’s struggle-be it emotional issues, misunderstandings, or personal concerns-and opens up a dialogue. Knowing team members’ abilities in detail helps me grow them.

If you manage a team, try it. You and your team will benefit from it.

December 20, 2023

1000 Alternate Lives

In one season of the hit TV series Friends—”one that could have been”, the characters fantasize about an alternative life that could have happened for them. I, too, often wonder “what if?” about endless possibilities.

What if I had started my company in Belgium? I might have married a Belgian girl and started a Belgian cricket team on my own!

What if I accepted that offer to move to the U.S. once I got back from Belgium?

Not just recent history.

I can travel further back in time, wondering what might have happened had I continued studying physics in college rather than engineering. Maybe I would have become an ISRO space scientist.

I could go even earlier.

I wonder what would have happened if my brother hadn’t passed away, or if our fates had been reversed? There’s nothing stopping me from venturing into an even more distant past—like if my father had fulfilled his ambition of becoming a Catholic priest before tuberculosis forced him to quit his seminary studies.

Physicist Stephen Hawking said, “The past, like the future, is indefinite and exists only as a spectrum of possibilities.” We can lose ourselves in thousands of alternate pasts, but dwelling on them risks trapping us in our own prisons. Our imaginations can shackle us to the past or inspire gratitude for our present and hope for our future.

While some fantasies of alternate realities may be pleasant daydreams, I am genuinely grateful for where I am today. With a loving wife, two sons, a fulfilling job, and fun colleagues, I’m happy with my life. I’m in a good financial position, so I can be grateful instead of wallowing in regret.

Instead of imprisoning myself in a doom loop of depression and squandering present and future on “what ifs,” it is far better to be grateful for today and envision a brighter future and embrace the life we’ve been given.

December 19, 2023

Optimizing my day for a good night’s sleep

Sleep is both an indicator and a requirement for good health. A solid six to seven hours of sleep each day signifies a healthy individual, while also providing the focus needed for productivity and satisfaction. For the past six months, I’ve optimized my day to prioritize sleep. I’ve noticed improvements in my physical health, mental health, and relationships.

There’s more to getting a good night’s rest than just lying in bed.

Every morning I wake up between 5:30 and 6:00, a habit my dad has instilled in me since I was 10 years old. So I go to bed between 9:30 and 10:00.

I turn off all my devices half an hour before bedtime to ensure quality sleep. Lights from laptops and phones can make it hard to sleep.

Since an active digestive system can disrupt sleep, I eat dinner at least three hours before bed.

Drinking plenty of water is essential for overall health; however, I avoid consuming water within two hours of bedtime to prevent waking up during deep sleep.

I jog for an hour or workout for 30 minutes. I also keep my body moving all day. By tiring my body in a healthy way, I can fall asleep more easily and enjoy better quality rest.

I’ve succeeded in improving my sleep by staying active, eating right, staying hydrated, and limiting device use during appropriate times. I’ve been more productive and happy as a result.

Sleeping well isn’t just about going to bed and waking up. You can improve your sleep quality by tweaking different factors throughout the day.

These habits align with the circadian rhythm described in “Circadian Code.” Our bodies follow the sun’s rise and set. We can significantly improve our quality of life and well-being by adjusting our food intake, water consumption, sleep, and activities with this rhythm.

December 18, 2023