Tag: self

Don’t solve loneliness with AI

Loneliness is the biggest problem facing the next generation, and technology won’t fix it. Or shouldn’t try to fix it.

While tech isn’t the solution, entrepreneurs will build a solution anyway. They’ll make addictive products, like social media, and become billionaires. Instead of solving the problem, these solutions will only amplify it.

Let’s take a look back at history. The Nokia phones launched with the tagline “connecting the world.” It was easy to talk to people anytime, anywhere. It was awesome. We found our classmates and collegemates on Facebook, reconnected, and shared our lives. Yet the same tech products amplified loneliness. These tech products helped us communicate with people thousands of kilometers away; but they also made us lose the ability to understand people right next to us.

Likewise, tech products will play a significant role in addressing loneliness, but we should be careful about which solutions we build. While tech billionaires want to build addictive solutions and keep users within their walled gardens, technology will only solve part of the loneliness issue. The problem can’t be solved completely by it.

We should use technology to build memories in the physical world with people we care about – this is how we can fight loneliness. Here’s an example from my own life: I’ve connected with two people named Krishna Kumar (KK) and Sathyanand in the last few years. We met online and got to know each other via Zoom, WhatsApp, and LinkedIn. Eventually, we met in person and formed deeper connections. Our virtual interactions paved the way for meaningful relationships. I met Sathya in Gudalur with my family in a holiday home. We walked through the fields and played in the nearby river, creating lasting memories. In the same way, KK visited us in Panchkula. Together, we hiked a trail near a dam. Once again, we bonded over shared experiences and overcoming challenges, which fostered accomplishment, happiness, and connection.

Although technology will be part of the loneliness solution, it’s not the ultimate solution. If we rely solely on technology, we will make it worse. Our goal should be to use it to build lasting relationships and make memories with the people we love.

(Tweet from Shaan Puri)

December 22, 2023

1000 Alternate Lives

In one season of the hit TV series Friends—”one that could have been”, the characters fantasize about an alternative life that could have happened for them. I, too, often wonder “what if?” about endless possibilities.

What if I had started my company in Belgium? I might have married a Belgian girl and started a Belgian cricket team on my own!

What if I accepted that offer to move to the U.S. once I got back from Belgium?

Not just recent history.

I can travel further back in time, wondering what might have happened had I continued studying physics in college rather than engineering. Maybe I would have become an ISRO space scientist.

I could go even earlier.

I wonder what would have happened if my brother hadn’t passed away, or if our fates had been reversed? There’s nothing stopping me from venturing into an even more distant past—like if my father had fulfilled his ambition of becoming a Catholic priest before tuberculosis forced him to quit his seminary studies.

Physicist Stephen Hawking said, “The past, like the future, is indefinite and exists only as a spectrum of possibilities.” We can lose ourselves in thousands of alternate pasts, but dwelling on them risks trapping us in our own prisons. Our imaginations can shackle us to the past or inspire gratitude for our present and hope for our future.

While some fantasies of alternate realities may be pleasant daydreams, I am genuinely grateful for where I am today. With a loving wife, two sons, a fulfilling job, and fun colleagues, I’m happy with my life. I’m in a good financial position, so I can be grateful instead of wallowing in regret.

Instead of imprisoning myself in a doom loop of depression and squandering present and future on “what ifs,” it is far better to be grateful for today and envision a brighter future and embrace the life we’ve been given.

December 19, 2023

Optimizing my day for a good night’s sleep

Sleep is both an indicator and a requirement for good health. A solid six to seven hours of sleep each day signifies a healthy individual, while also providing the focus needed for productivity and satisfaction. For the past six months, I’ve optimized my day to prioritize sleep. I’ve noticed improvements in my physical health, mental health, and relationships.

There’s more to getting a good night’s rest than just lying in bed.

Every morning I wake up between 5:30 and 6:00, a habit my dad has instilled in me since I was 10 years old. So I go to bed between 9:30 and 10:00.

I turn off all my devices half an hour before bedtime to ensure quality sleep. Lights from laptops and phones can make it hard to sleep.

Since an active digestive system can disrupt sleep, I eat dinner at least three hours before bed.

Drinking plenty of water is essential for overall health; however, I avoid consuming water within two hours of bedtime to prevent waking up during deep sleep.

I jog for an hour or workout for 30 minutes. I also keep my body moving all day. By tiring my body in a healthy way, I can fall asleep more easily and enjoy better quality rest.

I’ve succeeded in improving my sleep by staying active, eating right, staying hydrated, and limiting device use during appropriate times. I’ve been more productive and happy as a result.

Sleeping well isn’t just about going to bed and waking up. You can improve your sleep quality by tweaking different factors throughout the day.

These habits align with the circadian rhythm described in “Circadian Code.” Our bodies follow the sun’s rise and set. We can significantly improve our quality of life and well-being by adjusting our food intake, water consumption, sleep, and activities with this rhythm.

December 18, 2023

Three ingredients of happiness

Three ingredients of happiness

Happiness and its feelings are associated with three tangible phenomena in our lives that we can actually understand and manage: enjoyment, satisfaction, and meaning. – Arthur Brooks, Professor & Columnist

The first is satisfaction. True satisfaction comes from achieving something after a struggle. Cheating to get an A on an exam may get you the grade, but not the satisfaction. The challenge with satisfaction isn’t getting it, but keeping it. One achievement doesn’t guarantee lifelong contentment; one must always aim higher. Therefore, the path to genuine satisfaction lies not in having more, but in wanting less. Otherwise, you’ll be on a hedonistic treadmill, striving for more but never being happy.

Enjoyment is the second ingredient. It’s important to distinguish between pleasures and enjoyments. Pleasures are solitary activities – like watching movies or a cricket game – that don’t make you happy. You can turn enjoyment into happiness by combining it with social interaction and memories. Engaging in challenging activities with others makes lasting memories that contribute to happiness over time. Trying to find pleasure through solitary activities can lead to addiction and the endless pursuit of fleeting pleasures.

Lastly, there’s meaning. Think about why you’re doing what you’re doing and why it’s important. Understanding the purpose of your pursuits will help you achieve true happiness through satisfaction, enjoyment, and a sense of purpose. It’s hard to find meaning in life without asking lots of questions. There are many theories and schools of thought for discovering your essence, from atheism to theism.

In his seminal book “The seven habits of highly effective people,” Steven Covey suggests writing your obituary to find meaning. I wrote my obituary following that advice, and it really helped me find meaning.

These three ingredients must be present in abundance and balance: meaning, memory, and enjoyment. When these three elements are abundant and balanced, happiness naturally follows.

December 13, 2023

Morning routines build momentum

Over the years, I have cultivated a daily routine, particularly for the first few hours of my day. This routine allows me to accomplish key tasks, building satisfaction and momentum for a productive day. Here’s how it goes:

Every day, I wake up around 5:30 am, a habit ingrained by my father since I was 10 years old. Regardless of the weather or type of day, I maintain this wake-up time. Then, I have a bowel movement – another healthy habit encouraged by my father. Afterward, I brush my teeth and weigh myself.

Next, I drink three glasses of water, adding a pinch of salt to the first glass and warming it if possible.

Then, I devote 15 to 20 minutes to prayer. My prayer schedule is also routinized:

  • Mondays for college mates;
  • Tuesdays for church members;
  • Wednesdays for family;
  • Thursdays for myself and work;
  • Fridays for the country and its leaders;
  • Saturdays for friends; and
  • Sundays for church services.

After praying, I put on my workout clothes and either jog or exercise at home. I jog for an hour three days a week (Mondays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays), often joined by my eldest son as we cover six kilometers. On other days, I work out at home for about 30 minutes.

Following my workout or jog, I shower and prepare for breakfast. During this meal, my sons and I discuss homeschooling progress and their learning experiences. Afterward, my wife and I hold hands in prayer before diving into the day’s tasks.

As you can see, this morning routine sets me up for a successful and fulfilling day. Within the first three hours, I’ve taken care of my health, nurtured my spirituality, prayed for others, groomed myself, and spent quality time with my children. This robust start helps me feel energized and motivated to excel throughout the day.

By establishing a daily routine, you eliminate the need to constantly decide what to do next or negotiate with yourself. Negotiation can be difficult, especially when it’s an internal battle. A well-structured routine allows you to smoothly transition from one task to another, building momentum as you progress through the day. This momentum enables you to tackle challenges and navigate uncertainties with confidence, knowing that you have already accomplished so much.

If you haven’t yet established a routine, I highly recommend giving it a try. Start with small steps and gradually build upon your successes.

December 12, 2023